ARRIBA DE LA ROCA

December 23, 2009

I realized my life was really changing when I started hyperventilating at the airport in Phoenix. Not gasping for air so others would ask if I was O.K., it was just the sensation of having to breath deeply so I did not throw-up while at gate B 27 before boarding USAIRWAYS flight 932 to Los Cabos. Thinking it may help, I removed my socks and slipped back on my “dress” shoes. I say dress shoes since these partially suede and leather open toed slip-ons were one of the few remaining things I had left from my work wardrobe.

Looking at me no one would have thought I was about to “get off the bridge“, as my dear friend Maxine labeled our transition. Moving from one life; a life of successful employment, a plethora of wonderful friends and family, and three beautiful grandchildren; to one of, I guess the best word would be “unknowns”. Being on the bridge for the last few weeks has been a curious place to be. Crossing from one life to another I tended to protect myself by thinking I could go back when ever I chose. My oldest (by seniority) friend in Toronto, Susana, helped me along with this delusion as we spoke of my Christmas in Wisconsin, after which I will, as I did every year, return to Toronto. Knowing sweet Maurice had spent months setting up our future always pulled me back to the reality that I really would step off this bridge into a new life. One of bare feet, sand, the ocean and many things unknown.

Looking at myself I visually saw change. I saw a lovely silver bracelet that read repeatedly, “DREAM A LITTLE DREAM” around its fine silver band. What I could not see, and only sense, was the engraved CHFI XO that sat inside the band. When I received this special gift I had decided this would become a permanent part of my body. This would always sit on my wrist, next to my “GUARDIAN ANGEL WATCH OVER ME” bracelet and my newly purchased thumb ring. Yes, looking at myself these things were the only tangible indication that my life was changing. I do have to tell the givers of my silver bracelet what it actually means “to never take it off”. As I went through security check points in Wisconsin, Chicago and 5 times in Phoenix that lovely silver bracelet would make the alarms scream. When asked to remove it, I would answer, to whomever was challenging my new body part, “Sorry, it can not come off“. Each time I was than isolated in a security room, and wanded, and patted, and touched, until they were certain my bracelet was not a terrorist threat. How easy it would have been to pull it off. How disconnected I would have become from my work life and the friendships I had formed there, if I did that.

On landing in Cabo I still was very very unsettled. I kept thinking, “THIS IS IT!!!” “I LIVE HERE NOW!” Even the warm sunshine could not take away that nervous feeling. When I saw our black Toyota Tundra, the manly man’s truck, come around the bend to get me, my face exploded in joy. There was my Maurice. Breath. He was here. Breath. He greeted me with a brilliant bouquet of flowers, with the words, “welcome home”. Tears. That is what finally came. Tears.

We held hands on the drive through the original town of San Jose Del Cabo. Busy, and very Mexican I started to breath a little more consistently. Than Maurice asked if I was tired or if we could stop at Costco. COSTCO! I said sure, I wanted to buy an ironing board and iron!! OMG!!! You can take the girl out of……

So it went like this. Rip off my clothes in the car and put on shorts, a tee shirt and sandals. Shop at Costco, where they do not sell ironing boards and irons so our next stop is Wal-Mart, sorry Mom. (She will NOT go into a Wal-Mart since they destroy all small local business in every town they go into.) Then we drive to our land.

The funny thing is when you leave Cabo San Lucas, the commercial neighbor of San Jose Del Cabo, the electricity literally disappears. You see all the power lines dive into the earth and never come out again. This is the point where I know we are heading to OUR heaven.

The bodega we built, I guess I can really take zero credit for its construction but I did have matching pillows made for our new couch, looks so cute! While I was gone the workers added a palapa roof. Palapa is the word for those hand tied palm roofs you so often see in Mexico. It hangs our over front “deck” and is adorable. Our newly planted, 23 coconut palm trees, need about 2 years of TLC to be in perfect bloom but I felt excited. Hopefully within a month we will be living here…in our bodega, where we will be spending the next 8 or 9 months while we build our dream.

Day two, which is December 24th. Christmas Eve, 2009. From our rental place, we watched the sun come up over the Sierra de la Laguna mountains. The ocean is on the opposite side and a few whales are making their way south to the Sea of Cortez for the early 2010 birth of their babies. It is breezy and I have a jacket on over my shorts. We set out our Christmas decorations. They consist of two fabulously red stockings purchased at Giant Tiger in Collingwood, Ontario; a Santa figurine with the word MEXICO on its base; a hand blown glass palm tree ornament, which was a gift from my Mom, sister and niece; and a red towel with a cactus on it, again a gift from my Mom. Beautiful.

More beautiful is the invitation we have just received. Two of the guys Maurice has been working with, Jose and Tomas have invited us to eat Christmas dinner with them and their families tomorrow. This was my dream. We are both really excited about this. Our first Christmas in Mexico. What a better way to spend it.

So for now I am saying, Merry Christmas everyone. We are off to walk to the beach, than we are headed to Esquina, a coffee shop where we can get on the internet. The rest of our day will be running errands and trying to figure out what our contribution will be to a dinner with people who live more humbly than any of us can ever begin to imagine. We will spend more money tonight, when we dine at Maurice’s favorite place here, called Tre Gallane, a fabulous Italian restaurant where he has become friends of the owners, than these two families will make next month.

I have a feeling this will be changing too.