Another Maurice posting. Sorry Mom about the title!!

Things that makes you go ... .. fuuuck!

I finally got my FM3 officially registered. The FM3 is a Mexican passport-looking thing that Full Version for foreigner like me to live, move freely about, have a residence and do all the nice things real Mexicans do.

The process and the bulk of the required work in Obtaining the FM3, began at the Mexican consulate in Toronto just before my departure, actually my departure was delayed a few days while waiting for the darn thing.

Once I picked it up in Toronto, a request, well no, actually a demand, more like: "Make sure you present yourself at an immigration office not more then 30 days following your entrance into Mexico, was given otherwise ...." to me.

As a good boy, about 15 days into my stay, off I go to the nearest Immigration office. That happens to be in La Paz, about 1 hour drive from where I'm staying.

My expectations where simple. Go there, show my face, get the thing registered, and be on my way.

WRONG. I was given a list of about 6 items that were required in order to complete the process, none of which of course I had with me ... ... fuuuck ... that meant another day, another trip ..... fuuuck.

Things to do, days go by. I'm now on the 29th day. Shit! The FM3 ...... fuuuck.

Drop everything, get the "6 Commandments" list and start gathering the stuff:

· Two copies of my Passport together with the original.
· Two copies of my FM3, together with the original.
· Originals bank statements from the last 3 months.
· A letter written in Spanish requesting to be granted residence.
· Official proof of current residence.
· One file folder. (Yes, even e file folder. Guess it keeps their expenses down)

With Shelby's big help, one by one the items get ticked off. It's now 11AM, the office closes at 1 PM, it's cutting it short, but chances are that we'll make it.

Shelby's driving, I'm too flustered. 11:50 we are in La Paz, 12:10 PM I enter the immigration office. There is no line, I quickly get to the window. My papers are checked, all is in order, to file, bearing number 1031, is opened and duly recorded, a receipt is given to me and ....: "Please go back in a week ... more or less" ( Please return in one week, more or less) ... ... fuuuck ... that meant another day, another trip .... fuuuck.

I actually let two weeks go by. We try to consolidate travel with our needs: groceries etc, in order to limit these trips back and forward, the "get two pigeons with one stone" type of thing. Gas saving and time wasting, comes to mind. So, on the way to La Paz to buy our bathroom tiles, we make a stop at the immigration office. The FM3 should be there, waiting, right?

Get to the window, this time after a bit of a line, I produced my official receipt number 1031, observe the officer walk to a filing cabinet, retrieve a file and returned to the window. I'm smiling, I've finally got it. The file is opened in front of me all the papers it held are checked and rechecked. A sheet of paper is shoved in front of me ... "Please sir ... Please fill out this question on both sides." I look at it. I'ma bit disturbed, it's long but the questionnaire looks easy enough. It's filled with things that I know and should remember, like: My name, date of birth, address past, current address, etc.. .. etc. .. ... ... how many "fucking" toes are on my feet .... The big toe is also called a thumb? This would make this pretty difficult question, Are there 8 or toes and two thumbs ten toes?

I get to the end knowing that I've aced it. The officer takes it, smiles and says: "Thanks. Please go back in a week ... ... more or less". (You know what that means now). Fuuuck ... not again, that meant another day, another trip. Fuuuck, fuuuck, and more fuuuck.

I left. I'm fuming. Why did not they gave me the other day that questionnaire when I was here?

We let another week go by, we go back to La Paz. It's almost 12 Noon. I enter the immigration office. I'm third in line.

I get there, proudly show my number "1031". My file is retrieved, the papers inside get checked and rechecked.

"Do you have the pictures?" PICTURES??? What pictures is this guy talking about? Fuuuck, double fuuuck. There was no mention of pictures on their list. I question the officer on this knowing in my mind that with less then one hour before closing, there was no way I was going to get any pictures.

"Oh yes, I need four pictures, two face and two profile pictures.

He tells me there is a picture place just around the corner, "Photo Miguel". I will hold my file until my return. When questioned about the office closing and the little time left, he tells me that while yes, the office closes at 1:00 PM, it only closes for us foreigners. Mexicans and their transactions are handled until 2:00 PM.

I rushed out, Shelby is waiting in the truck. I explain the problem and off we go looking, just around the corner, for Photo Miguel. Can not find it, time is ticking, I'm ready to give up. We ask, someone knows, we are given the intersection of two rads and directions on how to get there. It turns out it's not just around the corner, it's about 7 to 8 blocks away, we need to drive.

Getting around La Paz is simple. The Streets are a grid with alternating one way streets, The Streets Have all names of course, and with a good map on hand you can find things. The problem is that only a few streets bear their name, and only after driving 5, 6, sometime 10 blocks, one finds a street name. Only after closing driving in a continuous loop, one can zero in on the desired place. This time being Photo Miguel.

Time is ticking and that is what we are doing ... looping around and around ... fuuuck.

We find the place, it's 1:10 PM. I'm the second in line, some lady ahead of me HAS DECIDED that today was the day for a family portrait. She beat me to Michael so I have to wait. Fuuuck .... out of frustration of course, not the lady.

1:20 PM, it's my turn. Photos are taken and I was told it would be a 30 minute wait.

30 minutes??? I explain my predicament, "OK then, 10 minutes" they say. It looks like you can bargain on time here as well. 10 minutes it's good.

Pictures ready and in hand so we drive back to the immigration office. No looping around this time.

1:50 PM, I enter the office, mix with the local crowd, get to the window, ask for the nice man that had handled my affairs earlier, gave him my pictures, got finger printed and told to wait. Oh noooo .... But to my surprise the man returns, hands me my FM3 and ... I'm free to go.

I'm happy, leave the office, get back to the truck where Shelby's patiently waiting, a big smile from her and all the "Fuuucks" are forgotten, they are a thing of the past.

An addendum from Shelby ... .. I was not waiting patiently. I was a fuming lunatic. Just FYI ...